I Always Thought..

I always thought that I was an independent person, that I didn’t need anyone else to make me happy or to feel wanted but after he left, I realized that this simply wasn’t the case. I had been with him for three years prior to him enlisting into the military and had spent most of my time with him. We met at a baseball game and from that point on we became a packaged deal, for the most part. We had accompanied each other throughout milestones in each others life, graduation, prom, college. We knew what we wanted and would always strive for happiness together. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into when he told me his life plan, I never wanted to get in the way of his future goals so I agreed to run with him. I just wish I had prepared myself more, not that I knew what I was preparing for and I’m not sure anyone in my position does. 

Happiness came so easily for me, then it became so difficult.

I found happiness in writing to him. The days I got letters back from him were great days and the days I didn’t get anything were bad. By now the letters he wrote have been read at least 10 times over and each time I find something new in them.

Changing My Ways

I am learning to live without his physical presence each and everyday. I speak to him often, FaceTime frequently and send him packages every now and again. By now I have learned that I’ve always been independent, even before he came around. What happened is called change and apparently I don’ t handle that well.